Characters:
Writer's 1, 2, 3
Harper's 1, 2, 3
A referee
Other players on both teams.
A hockey rink. There are benches on either side. On the right is TEAM HARPER. They are wearing high-tech matching jerseys with Steven Harper's face on the front. They are wound-up and aggressive, and are trying to intimidate THE WRITERS. THE WRITERS are wearing makeshift sporting clothes, not necessarily proper hockey equipment. They are sloth-like and completely disengaged. Some are reading books (their own) one is sleeping, one is staring at the sky, singing to himself. The REFEREE blows the whistle. HARPER 1 leaps into place at the center of the rink. THE WRITERS nudge each other into action and WRITER 1 grudgingly gets up, dragging her stick behind her. The REFEREE places a book (preferably something new by one of the authors present) in the center. The players stand poised. The REF blows the whistle and HARPER 1 body checks WRITER 1 and slaps the book away with his stick.
REF: Foul!
Both players return to their benches and a new set of players get up. Another book is placed in the center. The REF gives HARPER 2 a warning look, then blows the whistle. HARPER 2 trips WRITER 2 and hits the book away with her stick. The REF blows the whistle again.
REF: Foul!
WRITER 3 gets up to the center of the ice. HARPER 3 approaches with a book in hand. He hands it to the REF.
REF: What's this?
HARPER 3: My book.
TEAM HARPER: YOU wrote a book?
HARPER 3: It's about hockey!
WRITER 3: Ohhh… literature!
HARPER 3: I actually wanted to ask you guys if you know where I can get this published? I can't find funding anywhere!
WRITER 3 grabs his book, places it on the ice, and slaps it back to the HARPER side of the ice. TEAM HARPER gets up, disgusted. HARPER 3 picks his book up possessively and moves towards the WRITERS.
HARPER 3: You guys need another player?
The WRITERS all raise their hockey sticks threateningly.
WRITERS: No!
End scene.
Invite 10 more people by email to this Strange Breakfast: send them a PDF invite by email, or let them know about this web site.
This Invitation is not sent out by the Liberal Party, but by grassroots arts barbarians who know we’ll all be TOAST unless we do this!